Post by Groper #19 on Jan 12, 2008 12:31:41 GMT -6
Ask yourself: Am I Gay?: "The Man Test"
1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.
2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaaming Homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay--it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and purrs to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog... "Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!" Now think about how you call a cat... "Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.
3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, candy baby pacifiers. or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crayfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you are in training and undeniably a fag.
4.If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he deficates and urinates where he pleases.
5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee, beware! A straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Soy Latte". If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there, too.
6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colors, or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and pie, you might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a "fressier' is, your Gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are faggadocious.
7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the jerk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer.
8. If you regularly go on-line with a bunch of guys to play war games, play raci.......we'll skip this one.
9. If you do not alert all males who you regularly go on line with about this thread because you are afraid of hurting their feelings then you are definitly on the verge of being a fudgepacker.
1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.
2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaaming Homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay--it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and purrs to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog... "Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!" Now think about how you call a cat... "Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.
3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, candy baby pacifiers. or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crayfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you are in training and undeniably a fag.
4.If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he deficates and urinates where he pleases.
5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee, beware! A straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Soy Latte". If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there, too.
6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colors, or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and pie, you might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a "fressier' is, your Gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are faggadocious.
7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the jerk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer.
8. If you regularly go on-line with a bunch of guys to play war games, play raci.......we'll skip this one.
9. If you do not alert all males who you regularly go on line with about this thread because you are afraid of hurting their feelings then you are definitly on the verge of being a fudgepacker.