Post by Deleted on Aug 10, 2009 14:58:29 GMT -6
Some have been around before, but a couple are new...
Two blondes living in
> Oklahoma were sitting on a bench
> talking, and one blonde says to the other,
> "Which do you
> think is
> farther away...
> Florida or the moon?"
>
> The other
> blonde turns and
> says "Helloooooooooo,
> can you
> see Florida
> ??"
>
>
> CAR TROUBLE
>
> A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas
> station. She tells the
> mechanic it died.
>
> After he works on it for a
> few minutes, it is idling
> smoothly.
>
> She says, "What's the
> story?"
>
> He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
>
> She asks, "How
> often do I have to do that?"
>
>
> SPEEDING TICKET
>
> A police
> officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her
> very nicely if he could
> see her license.
>
> She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your
>
> act
> together. Just yesterday you take away my license and
> then today you
> expect me to show it to you!"
>
>
> RIVER WALK
>
> There's this blonde
> out for a walk. She comes to a river and
> sees another blonde on the
> opposite bank.
> "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the
> other
> side?"
>
> The second blonde looks up the river then down the river
> and
> shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."
>
>
> AT THE
> DOCTOR'S
> ;OFFICE
>
> A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office
> and
> said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
>
> "Impossible!"
> says the doctor. "Show me."
>
> The redhead took her finger, pushed on her
> left shoulder and
> screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed
> even
> more. She pushed her knee and screamed;
> likewise she pushed her ankle and
> screamed. Everywhere she
> touched made her scream.
>
> The doctor said,
> "You're not really a redhead, are
> you?
>
> "Well, no" she said, "I'm
> actually a blonde."
>
> "I thought so," the doctor said. "Your
> finger
> is
> broken."
>
>
>
> KNITTING
>
> A highway
> patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the
> freeway. Glancing at the
> car, he was astounded to
> see that the blonde behind the wheel was
> knitting!
>
> Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing
> lights
> and siren, the trooper cranked down his window,
> turned on his
> bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
>
> "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A
> SCARF!"
>
>
>
> BLONDE ON THE SUN
> A Russian, an American, and a
> Blonde were talking one day.
> The Russian said, "We were the first in
> space!"
>
> The American said, "We were the first on the
> moon!"
>
> The
> Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the
> first on
> the sun!"
>
> The
> Russian and the American looked at each other and
> shook their heads. "You
> can't land on the
> sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the
> Russian.
>
> To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid,
> you
> know.
> We're going at night!"
>
>
> IN A VACUUM
>
> A blonde was playing
> Trivial Pursuit one night.
> It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she
> landed
> on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you
> are
> in a
> vacuum and someone calls your name, can you
> hear it?"
>
> She thought
> for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
>
>
> FINALLY,
> THE
> BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
& gt;
> A girl was visiting her blonde
> friend, who had acquired
> two new dogs, and asked her what their names
> were.
> The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex
> and one
> was named Timex. Her friend said,
> "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs
> like that?"
>
> "HELLLOOOOOOO......,"answered the
> blond.
> "They're watch
> dogs!"